Famewhore!, She Wrote


R.I.P. Natasha Richardson 1963-2009

AP

“Liam Neeson, his sons, and the entire family are shocked and devastated by the tragic death of their beloved Natasha. They are profoundly grateful for the support, love and prayers of everyone, and ask for privacy during this very difficult time.”


Review: Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

The new Late Night with Jimmy Fallon premiered last night, and while Jimmy is no Conan O’Brien just yet, the show was actually a lot better than I thought it would be.

The first laughs came at the top of the show when Jimmy, in his dressing room, ran into Conan, still packing his stuff up. Jimmy told Conan he was about to start his first show. Conan: “Oh, is that tonight? I was going to TiVo it, or something.”

A big concern for myself and others was Jimmy’s tendency to laugh. Constantly. At himself, often times. Those who remember him from his days at “Saturday Night Live” know that Jimmy’s nerves tend to manifest in giggles behind his pencil at the Weekend Update anchor desk and scratching at the back of his head. Though Fallon clearly had first-show jitters, I was pleasantly surprised to see that he managed to keep most of his nervous tics under control. I imagine that, as he gets more comfortable being the only host of an hour-long show every night, he’ll relax a bit more and become more comfortable under the lights.

(After the show, Jimmy Twittered: “1st show done. I was a bit nervous. But overall really happy. Phew!”)

His monologue was decent. It was nothing spectacular; there was no string-dancing ala Conan, but there also weren’t any awful ba-dum-bump! moments ala Leno, either. It was short and sweet. He got a few laughs, he interacted with the audience, and then he Slow Jammed the News with ultra-cool house band The Roots, which was just okay.

Jimmy tried his hand at Letterman-style entertainment with Lick It For Ten, wherein he picks three audience members to lick random items (a lawn mower, a copier and a fish bowl) and gave them each a crisp $10 bill for their efforts while they watched it back in slow-motion. It was actually kind of stupid, but I’m not against him trying Letterman-ish stunts. Maybe he’ll manage to bring back the Can a Guy in a Bear Suit Get a Hug? man-on-the-street segment.

Robert DeNiro was the show’s first guest, and he was… boring and forgettable. Jimmy asked him a bunch of questions with one-word answers that he’d written (“How are you?” “I’m okay.”) and did a DeNiro impression to DeNiro’s face while DeNiro did a Jimmy impression to Jimmy’s face. They did some dumb sketch about a train that goes to space, too.

Jimmy seemed a bit more comfortable when Justin Timberlake came out, having worked with him on SNL in the past, and the show got a little more fun. They talked about their Barry Gibb Talk Show sketch and even sang a bit of its awesome made-up theme song (“talkin’ it up… on the Barry Gibb Talk Show… talkin’ ’bout chest hair… talkin’ ’bout crazy cool medallions…”). Justin also did amusing impressions of John Mayer and Michael McDonald, making him likeable to me for the first time in years.

Van Morrison gave a pretty good performance at the end of the show, and I have to admit I giggled a little as Jimmy threw it to Carson Daly at the end as, on “SNL,” Jimmy portrayed Carson Daly as being a “massive tool.”

All in all, a decent first start for Jimmy Fallon. He easily won his timeslot with a 35 percent margin on Craig Ferguson’s show, and appearances this week by people such as Tina Fey and Drew Barrymore should continue to bring in the numbers and, hopefully, boost Jimmy’s confidence.


David Cook, David Cook’s Self-Esteem Tumble in Mississippi

If you’re like me and a.) love you some David Cook and b.) can barely control yourself from laughing when you see someone fall in public, this clip of DCook falling on stage during a Valentine’s Day performance of “Hot For Teacher” in Biloxi, MS is a must-see! (Fast forward to around 2:05.)

Ah, schadenfreude! Good thing David has a sense of humor about himself; right after the song, he told the crowd, “You know, I was feeling pretty good about myself until that point. I needed it, I needed it. My self-esteem had been hovering around normal; I’ve been meaning to knock it down to -1,000, and that’s apparently how you do it.”


Review: “He’s Just Not That Into You”

MSN

Long & Goodwin; from MSN

“He’s Just Not That Into You,” based on the book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, showcases women at various stages of relationships. They’re either focused on trying to find a man or figure out if they should keep the one they’ve got, and they’ve all got one thing in common — that the opposite sex is completely and utterly confusing. It’s far from an unfamiliar topic, and everyone will be able to relate to at least one of these characters.

The film stars Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Connelly as a married couple dealing with house renovations and infidelity; Scarlett Johansson (the weak link of the cast) as the woman ignoring her own boyfriend (Kevin Connolly) and investing herself in a married man (Cooper); Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck as a couple who have been together for seven years and can’t agree on whether or not they should be married; Drew Barrymore as a woman who is sick of being rejected by MySpace, e-mail and other technologies; Ginnifer Goodwin as the desperate girl waiting for a guy to like her enough to call her; and Justin Long as a bartender who seems to know all the rules of dating.

Though mostly everyone does an admiral job (except, again, Johansson, whose wooden, dead-behind-the-eyes acting kept me disinterested in her character), the movie’s standouts are definitely Goodwin and Long and their “When Harry Met Sally”-esque relationship. I saw this in a packed theater, and their scenes had everyone in the audience alternately giggling and aww-ing.

MSN

Cooper and Connelly; from MSN

Interspersed throughout the movie are title cards declaring the ways women should be able to tell that men are not that into them (i.e. “…if he’s not calling you”); these are taken directly from the book’s chapters and kind of organize the many storylines. With the title cards comes brief interviews with non-characters (like the “When Harry Met Sally” old people interviews) that are actually pretty funny and drew a decent amount of laughs.

“He’s Just Not That Into You” isn’t perfect, but it was entertaining and keeps you invested in the characters enough that you will enjoy seeing where the film takes them. While men may not be into “He’s Just Not That Into You,” anyone who likes a good chick flick will want to check it out.

Grade: B


R.I.P. Kim Manners

Manners (left) on the "X-Files" set. (DGA.org)

Manners (left) on the "X-Files" set. (DGA.org)

Director/producer Kim Manners died of lung cancer Jan. 25 in Los Angeles. He was 59.

Manners’ first work as a director was on “Charlie’s Angels” in 1977. Though he was more recently working on “Supernatural,” he is perhaps best known for his work on “The X-Files,” working on 160 episodes, 52 in the capacity of director.

One of his more well-known episodes of “The X-Files” was the fourth season’s “Home,” about a family of inbred murderers. It was only allowed to air on FOX twice — once for its original broadcast in 1996, and once during a Halloween special in 1999. (It is, in this blogger’s opinion, the creepiest 45 minutes of television you’ll ever see. I highly recommend downloading it if you haven’t seen it; you won’t be disappointed.)

“It’s never tired, it’s never just ‘another episode of television’ to him,” said producer Frank Spotnitz of Manners in a 2002 interview with DGA Monthly. “He kills himself every time out, puts his heart and soul into it. And everybody sees it.”

Rest in peace, Kim. You will be missed.


If the Unabomber Rapped, It’d Look Like This

Former actor/recent Ted Kaczynski lookalike Joaquin Phoenix performed at LAVO in Las Vegas on Jan. 16, debuting his mad rap skills for the first time since announcing his retirement from acting in October.

People.com

People.com

“After all the years of reading scripts and reading lines, this is my chance to do something straight from the heart and put it out there,” he told People magazine.

(Okay, but… write a script. Direct something. Don’t pretend to be a rapper, because you’re not.)

People reported that, though Phoenix encouraged it, “dancing was at a minimum,” but the crowd did cheer along. (Probably because it’d be rude otherwise, and they’re big “Gladiator” fans.)

Brother-in-law Casey Affleck recorded the whole thing for posterity and a documentary on Phoenix, which means that we’ll all get to see the trainwreck eventually.

(Edited to add that TMZ has footage of the trainwreck right now… watch it here! Check out the hole in the crotch of his pants!)

“Are there people out there who think I’m a joke? I’m sure there will be,” Phoenix told People. “Are there people who think it’s going to suck? Probably, but I can’t worry about that.”

(You should worry about that, Joaquin. You really, really should.)

Remember when he looked like this? Sigh. Hopefully we’ll get this version of Joaquin back soon.

WireImage

WireImage


Brad Pitt Still in Denial…

Brad Pitt finally spoke about Jen Aniston’s comment that Angelina’s statements regarding Mr. and Mrs. Smith were “very uncool” and it’s obvious he is living in a constant state of denial. Pitt insists that he and Aniston are still friends  (gee, aren’t they all!) and that Aniston must have been roped into saying what she said. He then when on to defend his homewrecker partner by downplaying what Angelina’s statements implied.

Pitt insists that Jenn is a sweetheart and would never say such a thing unless she was somehow pulled into saying it. He also insist that Angie’s words were not meant to suggest there was a sorded affair, but rather it will be nice for the kids to see how their parents met.

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For anyone who still doesn’t know the comments were something like; “she looks forward to the day when she can put Mr. and Mrs. Smith in the DVD player for the children; ‘not a lot of people get to see a movie where their parents fell in love.'”

Angelina has also publicly stated that she couldn’t wait to get to the set everyday to see Pitt, who, at the time, was still married to Aniston.

Brad Pitt either thinks the public is incredibly stupid or he is living in a wonderful utopia known as denial. Pitt also stated that he and Aniston still speak on a regular basis. Aniston has already publicly stated that they rarely speak aside from amicable “hello”.  I guess part of him still doesn’t want to admit what happened but in the end the entire world already knows Angelina pretty much sunk her claws into him while he was still married. For Christ’s sake she has a damn TRACK RECORD of such behavior.

Pitt is looking worse and worse each day as this thing continues to be a part of mainstream society and will likely continue to be an issue until Angelina picks up her next co-star and continues her own personal UN collection. I can’t think of one single affair/relationship/love triangle that has gotten more attention than this whole Angie/Jenn/Brad saga. The thing has staying power. I think they should all just be out with it. For once in Hollywood I want a couple to admit they absolutely LOATHE each other after the divorce. While they are at it they should admit that Brad couldn’t keep his Peen away. Maybe we could all just get the hell over it if they did.


David Cook: Now with 100% Less Skank

Kimberly Caldwell’s rep has confirmed to InTouch that she and fellow “American Idol” alum David Cook are officially over.  “Kimberly and David ended their relationship just before the holidays. The couple remain good friends and being very private people, appreciate their privacy at this time.”

TMZ

TMZ

They had been dating since Cook (somewhat creepily) asked her out on national television in May (or earlier, if you believe the rumors).

I find it very funny that InTouch describes their relationship as “the once fairy-tale romance,” because come on, really? Let’s back up a minute here. Kimberly Caldwell is a grade-A famewhore, and Cook is hardly the first contestant she’s latched on to. Was it a “fairy-tale romance” with all the other “Idol” guys she’s dated?

There was J.D. Adams, who was on season 2 with her, and I’ve forgotten who else, but there was an article over at RealityShack wherein author Laura Tucker said,

“I noted that Kim seems to pick her favorite guys each season, referring to them as her newest boyfriend, future husband, etc., and she told me it’s so funny to others that she does that, but for her, these guys on American Idol are her coworkers. And while the rest of us choose guys we’d like to date from our own circle of coworkers, that’s really all she’s doing. I asked if she’d ever dated any of them, and she replied she could name off at least ten names, but pressed, she refused.”

So yeah, not much of a fairy tale when you’re basically the “Idol” bicycle.

Well, anyway, there’s a brand-new season of “Idol” starting tonight. Just in time, right, Kim?


All That’s Missing is Smeared Lipstick

The Golden Globes has been covered to death at this point, particularly the night’s fashion. I’m not even going to attempt to get into the whole thing. But I have to just say… what the hell was going on with Renee Zellweger last night?

Getty Images

Getty Images

Getty Images

Getty Images

Getty Images

Getty Images

The sweaty, puffy cokewhore (TM Kathy Griffin) was looking a little less like Dorothy Boyd (her character in “Jerry Maguire”) and a little more like Collette Reardon, that character Cheri Oteri played on “Saturday Night Live” who had a full pharmacy in her purse but could always use a refill.

snlIt’s uncanny!


Review: The 2009 People’s Choice Awards

All I have to say is… WTF are the people on? And why do I watch this award show every year? It’s so easy to tell who’s going to win. Did you see them at any point during the night? Are they in attendance? Then they won. Simple as that.

To sum up: this year’s People’s Choice Awards was just like every other year.

Now, my own awards:

The Worst Host Ever Award:
Who invited Queen Latifah back? She’s terrible, but you can tell that she thinks she’s awesome. (Sorry, Latifah, it’s just you.)

The Your-Shtick-Is-Getting-Old Award:

Gettyimages.com

Gettyimages.com

Robin Williams. “Dead Poets Society” is one of my most favorite movies ever, but sometimes I just want Robin Williams to be stop… just stop.

(Side note: Robin Williams and Robert Sean Leonard are at the same award show! Mr. Keating and Neil Perry, together again! O Captain, My Captain!)

Biggest WTF? Patter:

Gettyimages.com

Gettyimages.com

Seal standing there and singing for, like, 30 seconds before he started talking. Thanks, CBS, for reminding us that Seal’s a singer and not just Heidi Klum’s husband, I guess. Or whatever the point of that was.

The Mixed-Up Priorities Award:
Kate Hudson, at this shitty award show on her son’s fifth birthday. Way to go, Kate. Don’t go expecting an award for Mom of the Year, though.

Best “I Want to Hang Myself Right Now” Face:

Gettyimages.com

Gettyimages.com

David Boreanaz, presenting the award for Favorite Female TV Star. “…Christina Applegate. Whatever, I guess. Sigh. Can I go now? I should’ve just said I was busy. Next year…” Plus, Latifah butchered the hell out of his last name. Poor David.

The What Happened? Award:
Jay Mohr. Wow, what happened there? He’s all bloated and his hair is flat and he now seems to lack a neck, so he’s had to define the end of his face with a shabby little beard. And what the hell is up with his wife’s lips?!

Well, whatever. It’s over now, people. Onto the real award shows!