Review: The 2009 People’s Choice Awards

All I have to say is… WTF are the people on? And why do I watch this award show every year? It’s so easy to tell who’s going to win. Did you see them at any point during the night? Are they in attendance? Then they won. Simple as that.

To sum up: this year’s People’s Choice Awards was just like every other year.

Now, my own awards:

The Worst Host Ever Award:
Who invited Queen Latifah back? She’s terrible, but you can tell that she thinks she’s awesome. (Sorry, Latifah, it’s just you.)

The Your-Shtick-Is-Getting-Old Award:

Gettyimages.com

Robin Williams. “Dead Poets Society” is one of my most favorite movies ever, but sometimes I just want Robin Williams to be stop… just stop.

(Side note: Robin Williams and Robert Sean Leonard are at the same award show! Mr. Keating and Neil Perry, together again! O Captain, My Captain!)

Biggest WTF? Patter:

Gettyimages.com

Seal standing there and singing for, like, 30 seconds before he started talking. Thanks, CBS, for reminding us that Seal’s a singer and not just Heidi Klum’s husband, I guess. Or whatever the point of that was.

The Mixed-Up Priorities Award:
Kate Hudson, at this shitty award show on her son’s fifth birthday. Way to go, Kate. Don’t go expecting an award for Mom of the Year, though.

Best “I Want to Hang Myself Right Now” Face:

Gettyimages.com

David Boreanaz, presenting the award for Favorite Female TV Star. “…Christina Applegate. Whatever, I guess. Sigh. Can I go now? I should’ve just said I was busy. Next year…” Plus, Latifah butchered the hell out of his last name. Poor David.

The What Happened? Award:
Jay Mohr. Wow, what happened there? He’s all bloated and his hair is flat and he now seems to lack a neck, so he’s had to define the end of his face with a shabby little beard. And what the hell is up with his wife’s lips?!

Well, whatever. It’s over now, people. Onto the real award shows!

---